Temperance!

My people have deep roots in Athens, Alabama. Two years ago, the hedonistic forces of fermentation won a mighty electoral battle to permit the very limited sale of alcohol in the county. The bitterly defeated, tee-totalling warriors of temperance did not go quietly, however, and the matter is again on the ballot by referendum in a few weeks. On the way into town this weekend, my wife and I chuckled when we saw the marquee at a church in our tribe quoting Proverbs: "Wine is a mocker; strong drink a brawler," etc. I said, "WELCOME TO THE CHURCH OF CHRIST, Y'ALL!" Only to realize that this was but a tiny shot within a salvo of rhetoric, bad theology, and inter-fellowship intimidation.

A distant relative is a prominent Prohibition soldier. He recently sent the following missive to thousands of Athenians and encouraged the recipients to sent it on to all their friends. Thus, abiding his wishes, please behold some interesting hermeneutical polemics, emphasis his:

Hello Everyone:

As a Christian I can not vote for something that the Bible says is wrong. I can not contribute to anyone's downfall in anyway. That is basically the bottomline in this issue for me.

So, you see, the real issue here is "greed." Public officials want more tax money to spend. Bars and night clubs will be next. By the way, a Sports Bar and Resturant (sic) is already planned by a family in Athens. It will be on South Jefferson Street. It was on the front page of the Athens-News Courier on Tuesday.

I think this point is something that people that vote for the legal sales of alcohol do not fully understand. I would not vote for it even if it meant closing down our public school system.

Anyway, I hope you agree with me and vote to discontinued the sale of alcohol in Athens.

Please take the time to read these scriptures that apply to Christians and what the
world has to offer:

2 John 9-11, "Whoever transgresses and does not abide in the doctrine of Christ does not have God. He who abides in the doctrine of Christ has both the Father and the Son. 10 If anyone comes to you and does not bring this doctrine, do not receive him into your house nor greet him; for he who greets him shares in his evil deeds."

2 Corinthians 6:14, "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?"

John 15:19, "If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates
you."

2 Peter 2:20, "For if, after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and overcome, the latter end is worse for them than the beginning."

1 Thessalonians 5:7, "For those who sleep, sleep at night, and those who get drunk are drunk at night."

Gal 5:19-21, "Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom
of God."

Do you want to be condemed at the judgment in the sins of others? Does making a few dollars justify your involvement in the sale of alcohol? There is no way you can explain this to your kids, to God or to keep it from being a bad reflection on the church! If you vote for the continued sale of alcohol in Athens you are as guilty in God's sight as the drunkard or the drunk that runs over someones kid and kills them. (emphasis mine actually, because this is my favorite part- jrb) You can not even work in a place where this evil is sold. Stop for a moment a give this vote some serious thought! We made it just fine in Athens since 1818 without the legal sale of alcohol.

If you call yourself a Christian; then act like it and vote no to stop the sale of alcohol in Athens.

Ciao,
[MB]

Being a good Command-Example-Necessary-Inference kind of guy, I'm surprised that he didn't mention the party at Cana, new wineskins or the Lord's Supper, but I am sure that must have something to do with the alleged alcohol content of First Century booze.

Welcome back to 1919, Athens.

Mainline

So when I showed up at the rehearsal and other wedding events this weekend, many people would come up and say things like, "Are you the minister?" "Are you Jim and Heather's pastor?" "Are you the pastor of this church?" To which I usually took the time to disclaim my clerginess and inform them of the special circumstances and to emphasize my lawyeriness and professoriness.

All for naught, however, because early Saturday afternoon, the wedding planner finally handed me a copy of the program for the wedding. You know, this was the fancy program on nice stationary with pretty colors and ribbons for all the wedding-goers. I scanned the agenda to make sure everything was in order, then glanced down to a list of participants: friend-of-the-bride, brother-of-the-groom, etc.

At the bottom, I read,

Officiant:
The Right Reverend [JRB]

Yeah, the groom thought it would be funny. I keep waiting to be eaten from the inside-out by worms, but so far, so good.

This weekend, I have the strange honor of presiding over a wedding. Several months ago, this good friend called me up to tell me some news. I assumed that he probably was announcing his engagement, but then he surprised me with the request to officiate the proceedings. I am thrilled and humbled with the task and approach it prayerfully.

Before accepting this mission, however, I had to do a little legal research. Tennessee statutes require that wedding offiants must be a certain class of public official or, apparently, "ordained." After researching some case law, I learned that the State of Tennessee does not actually assert the authority to determine who is ordained but relies on the tenets of the particular religion or tradition. If your church says you are ordained, you are ordained for Tennessee purposes.

In the Church of Christ, however, this presents an interesting quandary. Customarily, we don't ordain anyone but elders and deacons. Without a clergy/laity distinction, what's a lawyer to do?

Thank Heaven for autonomous congregations. I called up an elder in our church and inquired about the possibility of ordination for wedding purposes. He said, "No problem!"

Being the good lawyer, I drafted a letter for his signature, explaining the theology, describing the purpose and commissioning me for the performance of weddings.

Unfortunately, he couldn't open the attachment, so he drafted his own. Here it is, in its entirety:

"[JRB] is commissioned by the elders of the [GP]congregation to perform weddings and other functions commonly performed by clergy."

That's right! Now, I can get great parking at hospitals and am available for bar mitzvahs! I'm heady with new found power and influence. I'm getting some business cards printed up.